The Importance of Creating Gentle New Year's Resolutions

We’ve all done it. We’ve all set New Year’s resolutions just out of our reach. Maybe it’s goals to lose a certain number of pounds, finally write that novel we’ve been putting off, or change a part of ourselves we feel is flawed. Perhaps we’re trying to undo a habit we’ve picked up—something we’ve labeled as maladaptive or unhealthy.

But this year, let’s try something different. Instead of pushing ourselves toward rigid, lofty goals, let’s embrace a gentler, more sustainable approach. What if our resolutions weren’t about fixing or changing ourselves but about growing, exploring, and deepening our understanding of who we already are?

Reflect on What You Truly Need

Rather than setting resolutions rooted in self-criticism, take a moment to reflect. Ask yourself: What do I need more of in my life? What would make me feel nourished, connected, and whole? Maybe it’s more rest, more time with loved ones, or more creativity. These needs can form the foundation of resolutions that feel empowering rather than punishing.

Set Realistic and Compassionate Goals

When creating resolutions, it’s important to ask: Are these goals realistic? Consider the time, energy, and resources you have available. Break larger goals into smaller, manageable steps. For example, instead of resolving to "write a novel," perhaps the goal could be to write for 10 minutes a day or join a local writer’s group for accountability and inspiration.

Build a Supportive Community

We don’t have to do this alone. True growth often happens in connection with others. Surround yourself with supportive people who can celebrate your progress and offer encouragement when challenges arise. Having a community that can call you out with care and kindness can make all the difference.

Allow Space for Flexibility

Life happens, and sometimes our goals need to shift. Be willing to adjust your resolutions as needed without seeing it as failure. Flexibility is key to long-term growth and sustainability. Instead of an all-or-nothing mindset, aim for consistency and progress over perfection.

Embrace Self-Compassion

Most importantly, let’s be gentle with ourselves. The new year doesn’t have to be a time to tear ourselves down in the name of improvement. Instead, it can be an opportunity to celebrate our strengths and set intentions that honor our needs and values.

This year, let’s approach resolutions as acts of self-care rather than self-criticism. Let’s set goals that nourish rather than deplete us. And let’s remind ourselves that growth often comes not from harsh discipline but from curiosity, patience, and kindness.