The Journey To Self-Discover
One question I often ask during a first therapy session is, “Tell me who [client’s name] is.” It may sound simple, but the answers I hear vary widely. Some people start by listing their likes and dislikes. Others dive into their personal history. Some describe their roles, like being a parent, a friend, or a partner. But as we dig deeper, a surprising number of clients come to a realization: they don’t actually know who they are.
When this happens, I remind them—that’s OK. Therapy is a space where we can explore and uncover the layers of identity that may have been overlooked, buried, or forgotten. It’s a process of discovery, and it can be incredibly empowering.
I think about this question a lot in my own life, too. I make time for little exercises to reconnect with myself and better understand who I am. If you’re interested in doing the same, here are a few suggestions:
1. Take Yourself Out to Eat (Alone!)
There’s something freeing about sitting in a restaurant by yourself, savoring a meal without distractions. Pay attention to what you order, how you feel, and what thoughts arise when you’re your only company.
2. Spend Time in Nature
Go outside and immerse yourself in the elements. Whether it’s a sunny day, a rainstorm, or freshly fallen snow, notice how you feel in these different environments. Observe what draws your attention and what sensations arise as you step away from screens and routines.
3. Journal
Writing can be a powerful tool for self-discovery. Set aside time to journal freely about your day, your dreams, or even the question, “Who am I?” Don’t filter yourself—just let the words flow and see what surfaces.
4. Try Something New
Sign up for a class, pick up a new hobby, or experiment with an activity you’ve always been curious about. Notice how you feel as you step outside your comfort zone and engage in something unfamiliar.
5. Reflect on Past Experiences
Take some time to think about moments in your life that shaped you. What did you learn from them? How did they influence the person you are today? Revisiting these experiences can provide insight into your values and growth.
Discovering who you are doesn’t happen overnight, and that’s part of what makes the process meaningful. Whether you’re reflecting in therapy, journaling, or simply sitting with yourself, you’re creating space to learn more about the person you already are.